Why is it so hard to rest?

It’s as if we’re living in a paradox—while we crave rest, we also resist it. Rest is supposed to be natural, like breathing, but in a world constantly in motion, it feels unnatural to stop. This resistance often stems from the idea that our value is tied to our productivity. When we take a break, it’s easy to feel guilty, like we’re wasting time or falling behind. So even during days meant for recharging, there's this underlying tension between wanting to relax and feeling like we should be doing more.

That jittery sensation you experience during days off is like a bodily manifestation of this mental conflict. Your mind knows you need rest, but your body is conditioned to keep moving, driven by the routines and demands of daily life. It’s almost as if your nervous system has been trained to stay in a constant state of alertness.

We’ve also become accustomed to filling every moment with stimulation, so much so that true rest—a space without distractions—feels uncomfortable. Even in moments of quiet, we reach for our phones, scroll through social media, or find something to occupy our minds. Rest has been replaced with “productive rest,” where even downtime becomes another item on the to-do list, something we “should” be optimizing.

This busyness mindset is further fueled by culture. Society rewards hustling, multitasking, and squeezing every drop of productivity out of the day. We are constantly bombarded by stories of people achieving great things, making it difficult to resist the urge to measure ourselves against others’ accomplishments. The idea of simply resting—without checking emails, catching up on errands, or making social plans—becomes not only difficult but also alien.

Your observation about how free time can leave us feeling empty is important too. Many of us have lost touch with the art of rest as a fulfilling, nourishing activity. When we finally do have time to rest, we’re left wondering what to do with ourselves. We don’t have hobbies or ways to engage deeply with things we truly enjoy outside of work or the pursuit of achievement. This disconnection from meaningful activities only amplifies that restless feeling.

And, of course, technology plays a huge role. Our phones and devices are engineered to pull us in, making it nearly impossible to just sit in the quiet of our own thoughts. Moments that could be restful—like a meal at a restaurant, a walk in nature, or simply sitting on the couch—are often interrupted by the ping of a notification. Our attention is constantly being pulled in multiple directions, making rest not just hard to find, but hard to feel.

Perhaps this struggle with rest isn’t just about time off, but also about redefining what rest means to us. It’s about allowing ourselves to disconnect from the external pressures of productivity and tuning in to a deeper, more fulfilling kind of rest—one that might require us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable in stillness.

When was the last time you felt true rest, not just physically, but mentally? What would it take to reclaim that kind of rest in your life?

Much Love,

Lindsay